Friday, 23 June 2017

A Village Story

Following the sad news about the passing of children’s TV presenter Brian Cant, I can now reveal the proposed plot-line for the fourteenth and final episode of Trumpton – which remained unscreened due to a legal dispute over the use of data rights at Trumpton Racecourse. 
Entitled ‘It’s Not Unusual’, the story follows the residents of the small village as they prepare for a concert that’s about to be performed by a famous Welsh singer. The episode opens with a shot of the villagers as they go about their daily business...
"Good morning Mr Clamp," says Miss Lovelace, the milliner, who is being towed across the square by three small Pekingese dogs. "I’m so excited about Jim Tones coming to Trumpton Racecourse. Apparently he’s going to sing live on a big stage after racing. I’m working on a very special hat for Mrs Cobbit the florist, as she’s landed the contract for arranging the flowers in the hospitality marquee."
Mr Clamp, the greengrocer, is loading his van with vegetables for the racecourse caterers. "Great!" he says, "It’s important to use local suppliers when events like this come to Trumpton. This Jim Tones concert is really going to help the local economy." The pair pause in their conversation while Mr Munnings, the printer, pins a poster to the village notice board.
"What does it say about taking dogs to the racecourse?" asks Miss Lovelace. The narrator explains that dogs are allowed on the racecourse but must be kept on a lead at all times. Due to the crowded nature of the event, dogs will not be permitted in the area immediately in front of the stage. Visitors will be welcome to bring picnics although, as with the dogs, they’ll be discouraged from depositing chairs and other structures in the area designated for standing spectators. They will be allowed to bring knickers for throwing, but nothing made of glass.
"Can you read that Mitzi, Daphne and Lulu?" says Miss Lovelace to her dogs. "I'm afraid you won’t be allowed in the mosh-pit."
Just then Chippy Minton, the joiner, walks into shot. He’s looking grumpy because he’s just been told that the big stage will be arriving on the back of a lorry and he won’t have an opportunity to tender for the work. "I’m fed up." he says, "I’m not even a fan of Jim Tones and the traffic in the village is going to be awful."
"Don’t worry about the traffic!" says Mr Troop the mayor. "I’ve been working with my friends in the Highways Department. The racecourse will implement a traffic management plan which will include some one-way systems and a taxi pick-up area within the south car park. As long as all visitors follow the yellow event signage and all taxis use the official pick-up area, any congestion should be limited and manageable. I am sure that the racegoers will be respectful of our beautiful village – we’ll be asking them to dispose of all their litter appropriately too, so that it can be recycled and the streets kept tidy."
Captain Flack and his men arrive in the square, clinging to their fire engine. "We’ve just visited the racecourse," he says "to carry out our annual assessment of their risk management plan. Did you know they’re going to have a big concert there after racing on Friday? If you’re going to go, you might want to make sure you arrive in plenty of time, as there will be a few additional security measures in place and the Police will have a heightened presence there."
Chippy’s son, Nibbs, arrives. "Can we go to the races too please Dad... please? It's going to be great fun and we can still get tickets at the entrance on the day!" 
"Of course we can." Says Chippy, who has now cheered up substantially. "I love a flutter on the horses, which reminds me: let's go down to the bookies, I've got a tip for Raucous in the Wokingham Handicap on Saturday at Camberwick Green."

N.B. Any similarities between the fictional characters described here and the actual residents of Trumpton are purely coincidental.

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