I received the phone call confirming the gig this morning. Mindful of the recent prank played on Elton John, by someone pretending to be Vladimir Putin, I was suspicious at first; but this person didn’t sound much like the Russian President and Elton never calls me before midday.
The line was a bit fuzzy. “Hay… pfff, Gold… pfff” went the voice. “Haydock?” I asked, “Jim Goldie?” Now that was a coincidence - I was just planning to make Jim Goldie’s Plus Jamais my selection for Haydock’s meeting on Saturday. The problem was: The voice at the other end didn’t sound much like Jim Goldie. And it can’t have been my bookmaker… I’ve asked him to stop calling me at work.
The voice cut in again, “Hey – I’ve got a golden opportunity for you…” It was Jason from Cuffe and Taylor; my heart sank: The guys at Cuffe and Taylor are very pleasant and all that; what they don’t know about staging live music events isn’t worth knowing. It’s just that I don’t think any of them know much about Jim Goldie’s horses.
“We’ve got Simply… pfff…” We were cut off. Simply what-did-he-say? Simply The Best? I turned to the girls in the office, “I think Tina Turner is coming to Cartmel” I said. They looked quite pleased, although I wasn’t sure about Naomi. She might not be a Tina Turner fan.
The phone rang again. “Simply Red want to play at your new race-day; the one on Saturday 28th May” said Jason. “Great,” I said. “You mean the real Simply Red, not a tribute band - like Simply Pink or anything?”
“No, the real Simply Red – not Simply Pink, Simply Purple, Deep Purple, Deacon Blue or even Barry White. Simply Red are coming to Cartmel, tickets are going on sale through Ticketline on Friday, although your annual members can come in for free – as the band will take to the stage straight after racing. It’ll be a fantastic way to start the season.”
“Wow!” I said. “I know,” replied Jason “you’re so pfff… jammy.”
Jamais? I thought; Did he just say Plus Jamais? Turns out those Cuffe and Taylor guys know more about horses than I thought.